Smriti - Such profound statements from u!! Thanks a ton!!!!! Just cudn't stop myself from adding some of my humble observations. They are given in Red below each of your statements.... Really profound and earth stattering. Keep going!! TC
1. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
I don't mind being either. As long as the pigeon doesn't shit on the statue (ie me), fine by me!!
2. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Its like during foreplay (for men!) Who cares whatever you committed, after sex. ;-)
3 . Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
Penthouse. Special Edition. At least death will be sweet
4. Drive carefully -- it's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.
Beg to differ!! Depends on who is doing the driving!!! In laws will usually join forces with your wife driving u nuts!!!! Ask any 'happily' married man.
5 . If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Motto of any dyed in the wool market researcher!! They live by it.
6 . If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
Monami, please specify what you are referring to?? The money, the person, or my plain stupidity in lending it??? !!!!.
7 . It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
This one, I agree. My face looks like the 'no entry' signal at the busy Burjuman crossing..
8. Never buy a car you can't push.
U need a lil tutorial in Physics!! Specifically, Newton's third law on motion … 'Every action has an equal and opposite reaction'. Lemme explain!!
Ever tried 5 day old baked beans with beer in an empty stomach? Now what happens is that the speed with which you'll fart will be enuf to propel u from here to the moon (with the car) and back in record time. Try. Please try.
ps – One caveat!! Put a gas mask on, before u start! The stench may be lethal.
9. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
Ever tried freehand farting??!!
10. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
Look at Punjus! If Bhangra can be passed as popular and aesthetic, anything else is!!!
11. Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
Depends!! Whether it's a weekend or weekday!!
12. The second mouse gets the cheese.
The first mouse eats it!
13. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
No offence meant but if its women, money and fame, I wud rather be in the wrong one!
14. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
You got me confused!! 'More' b'days per year??? Are you saying that my parents planned me in installments????
Now that's what I call creative synchronized 'child planning' …(read lovemaking)!!
15. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
Likely scenario??? Conversations with God on top of Mt Everest!!!!
Or .. a truant tenant and an equally tenacious landlord! Ask me (the tenant ie!!)
Get the idea, babe??
16. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once
Wish my folks dittoed the same sentiment about my existence!!
17 . We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box
Same for condoms! Same sharp, some pretty, some dull!! Depends on the tool they cover!! They have weird names from Casablanca to Azaad Farishte (no kidding, big brand in Maharashtra, I have done research), Bajrangbali to Ecstacy!! Forget different colours and boxes, these even come in different flavours (peach, pineapple, mocktail and even 'cocktale'!!!)
And finally, when it comes to learning from condoms, its simple to learn. Put them on, follow ur instinct and man, isn't the end learning awesome!!
18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
An even happier person is the one who can avoid one and reach on time!!
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